First blog post

Hey,my name is Ese but you can call me SPARKLE. I’m new on WordPress and I just started blogging. So, yes, this is my first blog and my first post.

I am a Christian and a Nigerian. I’m a young christian trying to find her place in this world, in a country where our morals are slowly decaying and you are criticised for not being a perfect christian and in a world where evil sells and reigns.

I want to be a voice to people’s pain and things they refuse to talk about and I pray that God uses me to touch lives.

Thank you and God Bless You.

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Reflections

This hits very close to home. Its a remainder, that each day we choose to put fear behind us and leap out in faith is a day closer to realizing your potentials and becoming all God has called you to be. Till my next article, stay blessed. With Love, SPARKLE.

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This write-up wasn’t planned. I didn’t even know that I would write today but here I am after running away for a long time. We give a lot of excuses as to why we don’t get involved in things, people and situations we are avoiding. But the funny truth of the matter is that we always one way or the other run smack into the very things we are avoiding and running from and finally there is no place to run to and no where to hide.

Two things are involved in this scenario:

Its either you face your fear and fight or you cower to it and let it defeat you finally.

If the later is your option, then it is such a shame because you wont realize your full potentials because of fear and you will pass away, another grain of sand in the sands of time without…

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Reflections

This write-up wasn’t planned. I didn’t even know that I would write today but here I am after running away for a long time. We give a lot of excuses as to why we don’t get involved in things, people and situations we are avoiding. But the funny truth of the matter is that we always one way or the other run smack into the very things we are avoiding and running from and finally there is no place to run to and no where to hide.

Two things are involved in this scenario:

Its either you face your fear and fight or you cower to it and let it defeat you finally.

If the later is your option, then it is such a shame because you wont realize your full potentials because of fear and you will pass away, another grain of sand in the sands of time without any impact-nothing to be remembered for or even by. Maybe a reference for those who let fear get the best of them, a negative reference, I might add.

If you picked the first option, good for you. But when that fear is overcome and the task completed, you will realize precious years wasted because you choose to act out in fear.

I’m not criticizing anyone neither am I judging, we all have been victims of fear one way or the other. I’m still running from what God has called me to do, even though it hitting me smack on the face. I’m still trying to get back the person I lost 10 years ago and build on her but if I cant at least make the person I am a better version.

Fear still holds me back, not because I have failed or because I know I will fail in another area because I am only human but because I do not feel I deserve greatness nor success.

But truth be told, does any one deserve anything we are receiving freely on earth.

The simple answer is; NO.

Jesus died on the cross, redeemed us and gave us everything freely as long as you choose to believe in Him, take up your cross and follow Him.

Yes, we do not deserve it but He has given us freely.. Its our choice to accept it or not. The key word being CHOICE.

The same way we can choose to cower in fear or step out in faith. For my Bible tells me in 2 Timothy 1;7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind (KJV).

I like the way the NIV puts it: 2 Timothy 1:7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

Since God has endued us with power, why cower in fear? He knows fear is a foe we face daily, that’s why He tells us 365 times in the Bible “Fear Not”, enough dose of courage to last us every day of the year. It will interest you to know that almost every time God talks to someone in the Bible, the first thing He says is, ‘Don’t be afraid!'”

So armed with this reassurances, I’m on a journey to fight this foe called fear and recover the woman God created me to be, you can tag along. Lets take it one step at a time. I wont say this journey isn’t scary after all I am facing off FEAR himself. But, there is one thing I know and that is I AM NOT ALONE. God is leading me on this journey against fear, this journey of self recovery and self reflection. Armed with my daily dosage of anti-fear capsules, I have nothing to fear, instead, fear should be afraid of me and not the other way round.

I hope to see you at the other side of fear, a victor living triumphantly after conquering fear.

Till God inspires me and make words flow from the ink of my pen again, do not stop SPARKLING.

With Love,

SPARKLE.

Who Am I?

I hear the voice call out to me  It happened the first time I wanted to fly like a bird
It was the same voice that spoke when I took to the waters
It echoed in my heart when I took to the streets to find relief
It sang out to me when I buried myself in books, trying to get lost in the world's standard
It found me too within the depths of my vices while I held on to the darkness
It remains a gunning ache within my heart
It cries out to the very core of my being
And it calls me out every single time
Its an indelible mark imprinted on every fibre of my being
Each a silent tattoo that echoes the words I can't speak
I can't find rest for this wretched soul
Not till the question imprinted in my mind's eye is answered
Who Am I?
Why Am I On Earth?
Most times the answers we seek are not that far away
We just have to look within, beyond ourselves to The One who made us
Then we can find rest for our days
And the fulfillment we seek will become imbibed in our souls
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WITH LOVE SPARKLE

Dear God, Its Me Again


Dear God,
Its me again
The third day of the year is almost running out
I guess that’s how long it took me to get to you
Its a new year again
And I’m not up to it
I had things planned out
On how I would have loved this year to turn out
I started preparation in December
But that didn’t work out
Cross over night caught up to me
And bam its 10:35pm January 3rd
At least I’m making an effort
But I don’t want to ‘try’ this year
I want to ‘do’
I want to actually get things done
And on time too, if possible
So I’m doing something different this time around
I’m going to plan along with you
And pray you give me the strength to carry it out
I won’t wait for time to pass me by
Nor waste it, hopefully
Or cry over spilled milk
Like I do every time things don’t go my way
Instead I will pick up the pieces and move on
Its high time I moved out of the ‘City of Regrets’
And stop throwing myself pity parties
I’m starting over but I ain’t starting without you
So guide me and let your love lead me
I patiently await your reply

With Love Your Prodigal Child
SPARKLE


REMEMBER/FIGHT

Lord, I have forgotten who I am
Please help me remember
The girl with the smile on her lips
Whose joy was from within
A strong will that held her through the tempest
A strength within, that defiled her fragile nature
Whose love was pure and true
With a heart of compassion reaching out
To all in need
Tell me I’m not broken
Tell me the world hasn’t ended my light
Tell me that trails and tribulations hasn’t made me lose my spark
Tell me that this isn’t my end
I’m torn by the different voices inside my head
Let my life end
It will be better than the monster taking form in my wake
I don’t want to look at the disapproving eyes anymore
Its too late for me
But you won’t let me take the easy way out
You whispered it so clearly
I felt the breathe on my skin
FIGHT
I will do no less
I will fight for the broken child in me
Reaching out with arms of love
I will fight to let her feel the rays of the sun
And the hope the rain brings when it hits the ground
I will fight to look at nature with wonder
And see clearly with your sight
With visions no longer blurred
I will fight to see the child you died for
The child you love and whom you created in love
The child whose heart still beats after yours
And I will rest in you
Knowing that the battle is won

SPARKLE

LOVE

Never could I imagine
I could be touched
By the barest of human sympathies
My heart had been dead for so long
I forgot how to live
It wasn’t a life changing situation
That brought me from my abyss
It was a normal uneventful day
The joy of the beautiful female child drew me
She had an allure I wanted
I couldn’t resist her dancing happily in that pink dress while she sang to herself
As she missed a step and was about to fall
I don’t know what pushed me
My desire to be her saviour
Or the need to just drink from the fountain of joy that was this child if it was just for a glimpsing moment
To tame the beast within I was losing a hold on
It was the smile on the child’s face
When she held my face
And spoke these words
‘You are beautiful’
After she had thanked me when I held her upright
Children speak the truth
So her words have no lie in it
After all, angels don’t lie
Back in my cage
I dared to take a look at the face that was called beautiful
I see the ugly scars imprinted on my face as I stare at the mirror
I wished they were physical
But the emotional scars are more gruesome
Maybe my scars really make me beautiful
And after a life time, I notice an oddity in the shape of my face
The uplifted left side of my mouth with my front teeth in a barely there smile
I turn from the mirror with a new gait in my steps
My life just got a new meaning
I encountered an angel.

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LETTER TO GOD

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Dear Jesus,
I stand in awe at the depth of your love for me
Who am I that you would choose to love me
Who am I that you would lay down your life for me
I’m forever grateful and I’ll be ever thankful all my days
I only ask Lord that you teach me to love
And that you help me love you just the way you have loved me, just the way you will always love me.

With Love,
Sparkle.